Going to be an Auntie again :)

Hooray!! We found out that my SIL is pregnant with her first bub :D Due the day before Em's 3rd birthday.

I am estatic for them (they had been trying for a bit) but I'm feeling, well, a bit jealous. Not neccessarily jealous that they are having a baby (sure there is a bit of that :P - even though Z is not even 6m old yet!!) but also jealous that she'll share her pregnancy with her Mum . . .

My Mum wasn't well when I was pregnant with Emily, and she was pushing us all out of her life, so even though she was 'excited' for us, it didn't seem real if that makes sense. And when Em was just 10 wks old, she took her own life. I was a brand new mother , breastfeeding still hadn't been established (and that dried me right up) and I needed her support. Just before she died we were taking and she said that she was disappointed that she had changed hundred's of kids nappies (she was a daycare provider for 12 years) but hadn't yet changed one of Emily's. Less than a week later she was gone, that still makes me . . . angry? sad? frustrated? I really don't know if I can pigeon hole it . . .

I went all through Z's pregnancy with no-one . . . I mean yes, I do have Bec(and not discounting her great advice and help) but I needed my Mum and she wasn't there . . .

I just think over how many things in Em and Z's lives that she has missed out on and it hurts so bad.

Jade is incredibly close with her Mum, the way I was before Mum's sickness took over . . . I just hope she appreciates how lucky she is . . .

I wish her all the best and hope she has a very calm, uneventful next 8 months.

The little things . . .

. . . can make you feel so good :) I went to our local fruit and vege shop (well not the most local, but it is near Dad and they grow a lot of their own produce) and took along some home made f+v bags. Nothing special, just tule bags with a drawstring, figuring that even if I save 5 plastic bages a week with my f+v that it saves 260 plastic bags a year. I paid for my purchase and as I walked out I heard the person who served me say to teh other person working there (perhaps the owner??) "Did you see those bags she had? What a great idea!!" and the other person agreed with her and said that they are surprised more people don't do that!!

That put a smile on my face for the rest of the day . . . :)

Swapping goodness :)

I received my swap from an "Upcycle Swap" I participated in on Nappycino today . . . a copy of Backyard Self Sufficiency by Jackie French :D:D:D I have been looking for a copy of this book for MONTHS!!! It is out of stock at the publishers and I haven;t had any luck finding one secondhand either.

A HUGE thankyou to my swap buddy Amy for such a thoughful gift . . .you stalked me well lol

Garden notes

This post is more a diary entry for me to remind me when I planted things lol

Today I planted:

4 garlic cloves (don't know how these will go, they are meant to be a winter crop up here . . .)

1 tomato sprout (only popped up a couple of days ago!)

5 lettuce seeds

2 rockmelon seeds which I found sprouting in the worm farm!!

I removed the pak choy - which had gone to seed, harvested 3 carrots (very small!!), moved the capsicum from the top tier to the second . . . um I think that is it!

I have quite a few tomatoes coming up and have harvested 3 (small) capsicums from that plant but no other flowers in sight. My loofa seeds have also sprouted and I am quite excited to see how that grows! I have visions of giving the female in laws home grown loofas and ho,e made beauty products for Christmas . . . who knows if that will happen though!!

Clothing Challange . . .

I have set myself a clothing challange. I will not buy any new clothes for myself and the girls for ONE YEAR - hopefully not too ambitious, but I have been doing it for probably 2 months now with only a few minor hiccups along the way. There are a few exclusions . . . underwear, socks . . . and I won't stop people from buying clothes as a gift (many of the in laws buy a few items for Christmas etc).

I *may* buy fabric to make clothes, but I will try my best to source it second hand first but lets face it, I have enough fabric to last quite a while I just need to bite the bullet and use it!!

I have discovered that I am in love with my local Endevour Foundation OP shop. Every 4 weeks they clear their *older* stock (ie it has been on the shelf for 2 months without selling) in a "fill a bag" for $10 . . . but it isn't just fill a bag, it is basically grab anything you'd like with a x coloured tag for $10. I have got SO much stuff their recently - generally between 10-15 items each time!! I got nn some great stuff last week (and he isn't usually into secondhand clothes) but a denim jacket and a ripcurl button up collered shirt - they ended up being 76c ea!! :O

I also recently go myself a dressmakers mannequin :D It ended up being just under $55 from ebay and it is a perfect condition 1920s "Ese Jane" I LOVE it!! Her breasts are a bit too perky for my liking though - obviously SHE never breastfed lol I can't wait to make something for ME!!

A time for reflection . . .

08.08.08 - for most people, they will remember this day as the day the Olympics started. For my family it is when we commemerate the 2nd anniversary of my Mum's suicide. In some ways it feels like just yesterday I was talking to her, in others it feels like a lifetime has passed. So many things have happened in the past two years - so much she has missed out on. She would have seen 5 more grandaughters born, two sets of twins and my own beautiful Zoe, seen my brother get engaged to a wonderful girl, shared her 30th wedding anniversary to my Dad and celebrated his 50th birthday. She has missed so many happy times, and caused so many sad . . .

Shannon, the girls and I invited Dad up to the Sunshine Coast for a few days and were joined my Tim, Laura and Warren (my Uncle) on the Friday as Shelly Beach, the place where we scattered her ashes last year. I didn't go to the actual spot where we scattered them - I have so many fantastic memories of that place growing up I don't want to always be reminded of the sad - and we had our best Cowrie haul in years :) It was a shame that Bec had 3 sick girls and couldn't come too.

After lunch, when everyone else had left, we went for a walk along Kings Beach. Having a look at the shells as we went by, I said to Dad "I wonder why we never find Cowrie shells along here?" and right in front of us, all by itself, was a large, perfectly intact Cowrie - almost as if Mum was letting us know she was there . . .

We had a beautiful few days up there and I think it will be a continuing tradition from here on. I have still to go and see her plaque which has now been put up at the place where we held her funeral, I am hoping to o this week . . .

RIP Mum, you will be missed forever.

My sewing mojo has returned!!

Helped along by the fact that I have found that you can buy a separate bobbin winder - mine on the machine had broken and they wanted a fortune just to LOOK at it!!I went to spotlight for something quite particular yesterday (which they didn't have) and came away with some really nice material :)

I also picked up some really cheap patterns on Oztion this morning - so I am looking forward to getting started :D Today I am re-sorting my material so that it is easier to access and tomorrow I should be underway!

We also had our first home grown product in our dinner last night :D We had Mongolian Lamb Wraps, using shallots and lettuce from our pots - YAY!! Nn won and we pulled out the snow peas :( but planted capsicum and tomatoes in their place. The capsicum is already fruiting (3 at various stages of growth atm) and I noticed the first flower on the tomato yesterday. I did sneak one snow pea into a pot though, so hopefully it will keep going for me lol